i have a story

Why am I writing today? I’m writing because I have something to share.

2015. It’s basically two-thirds over… weird. I wrote a post in June about my professional work with Visible Music College and my graduate work with McNally Smith College of Music keeping my life focused on the season of Christmas this entire year. I’m still rockin on stuff, and things are coming together for sure on both fronts.

But I have something else to share.

I have friends and a professional network, which is broad… broad in personality, skill and vocation, faith, lifestyle, life stage, and worldview. I’ve never hid the fact that I love God, and seek to serve Him wholeheartedly. However, I’ve always tried to be very respectful and loving to others in my life, even if our understanding of faith in God differs. I bring this up, again, because I have something to share.

I am driven by knowing that I’m loved. I am loved by God, my family, and most people who know me.

I’m also driven knowing I have calling. Knowing I’m loved has helped me understand my calling more deeply. My calling has largely existed in serving others. This being realized inside the vocation of musicianship, quite frankly, has been… amazing!!!… and, has definitely created case-study worthy material for a researching academic somewhere!!!

Basically what I’m saying is that there is a conflict between the idea (at least in my mind) of being a working musician or artist, and having a calling that can truly serve others. I think at the very core of being a working musician, there is a self-serving (or self-preserving) identity that thrives in the spotlight and seeks the recognition or approval from people (whether that’s an audience, community, producer, or fan-base). I think at the very core of what it means to serve others, lives an abandonment to self-serving ideologies.

To sum it up: basically, to serve is to give. Not seek for attention.

Personally, because I’ve known my calling is to serve, but the medium has been in the vocation of musicianship, my career has largely lived in the nonprofit sector. This has been living under a large umbrella of places, whether through a local church or collegiate worship ministry, private studio education, service learning and leadership development, college education, or contractual artistry. But in every venue, my musicianship has always existed to point toward God, and/or come alongside someone else and support or coach them in their own journey.

Today, in many ways, my calling is more alive than it’s ever been.
     And, in making every effort to be a loving husband and father…
        …in finishing my graduate work in modern music performance…
            …in working for a college equipping artists for work in the professional                  music industry or modern music ministry…
                 …and in working as an independent artist and worship leader…

I am very fulfilled… But, I have something to share. And here it is…

I have a story.

I have a story to share. And, it can exist in a life of serving others, as a musician.

Story isn’t unique to me. Everyone has a story. Story informs us every day. And, we are constantly shaped as we experience others on their own journey. Our stories are influenced by multiple layers and factors, whether that is history, upbringing, worldview, faith, etc.

I think I’ve come to a place in my life, where I’m comfortable saying, “I have a story to tell.” And, I’m excited to share it with you. I’m excited because in my own life, as I’ve experienced all kinds of things like joy, grief, success and failure, I’ve become more confident in God’s love for me as I’m public about each chapter. Even the chapters which include pain, grief, and loss.

I think the Christmas season really is “the most wonderful time of the year,” in part, because people are sharing love more openly. It seems, as if perhaps only for a brief moment, we are brought back to the nostalgia of our childhood, or warmed by the beauty of relationships and friendships, or reminded of God coming to be with us. Whatever the case, our stories are colliding with one another.

For some, it is easy to be open about their story. And, those who know me well, know the sections we’ve experienced together. But, the first volume of my story is being publicly released in the form of a new album this December. As you listen to my album, my story won’t be found in one specific song. Rather, if you listen to any number of the tracks, you might start to hear various chapters or one section of my story… Like small sections from a larger book.

I’ve battled with nerves about what to share, how to share it, and whether or not someone may even resonate with it (be that message or aesthetic). But I’ve begun to realize that as I’ve shared my story, this is yet another way I can serve others. Particularly when we can find solidarity in our grief from the past and our joy in the present. Either way, in every conversation, hope tends comes alive to encourage us for tomorrow.

Again, to serve is to give.

My hope is, that as I’m courageous to share my story, that it does influence you in some way.

So, I hope you’ll stay tuned. For today… grace and peace.